Friday, December 30, 2005

Test your Eyes & Brain !


Count every "F" in the following text:



...................... 3?

WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.

The reasoning behind is further down.

The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a Genius.
&nb! sp; Three is Normal, four is Quite Rare.

Monday, December 26, 2005


Saturday, December 24, 2005

You Want To Be A Millionaire ?

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed."

He said, "Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

I'm sorry", said the HR Manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door-to-door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?"

The man thought for a while and replied, " Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"
Moral of the story:

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can still be a millionaire.

Have a great day !!!

Thursday, December 22, 2005


 Seat Belt Prize

4 People in car, 2 in the front, one asleep in the back, one curled up in the trunk. Cop comes up behind with siren. They
pull over. Cop walks to drivers' window.

Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: No problem! I just wanted to tell you that you are the one hundredth person I've seen wearing a seat belt today,
which means you have won $5,000 in the statewide safety competition!

Driver: That's great! What a surprise!

Cop: So, buddy, what are you going to do with your winnings?

Driver: Well, first I'll get my drivers license and then I'll pay off all those warrants.

Rider: Ah, don't believe him! He always talks big when he's drunk!

Sleeper (waking up): Whoa! A cop. Darn it all! I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car.

Guy in Trunk: Hey! Amigos! Have we crossed the border yet?
What is the diffrence between stress, tension & panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girl friend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant
Sardar told his girl friend "Darling come to my house today night nobody will be there."
She said OK i will. At night girlfriend went to Sardar's house and nobody was there!!!
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "dad" with the worst rumination, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear dad,

This is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion,  dad she's pregnant and barbara assures me that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her since she is so much older than I am, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood enough for he whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we need. In the meantime, we pray that science will find a cure for aids so that barbara can get better; she sure deserves  it!! Don't worry, dad, i'm 15 years old now and i know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,


P.S: Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at billy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my reportcard which is in my
desk center drawer. I love you!

P.S: Call when it's safe for me to come home
How stock markets work!!!

It was autumn, and the Red Indians on the remote reservation asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was Going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is Going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," The man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The
Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy."

PS: This is how stock markets work!!!
God made Earth and rested,
God made man and rested,
God made woman, and since then neither God nor man rested.
I, walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." The sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." I said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Takea little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would
honor and glorify me." I thought about it for a long time.

Finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they meanwhen they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?""



A hillbilly was visiting the big city and checked into a nice hotel downtown. At the counter, he signed his name with an X and started to walk away. Then he stopped, turned and put a circle around the X.
“Now, I’ve seen lots of people from the mountains sign with an X,” the clerk said. “But I’ve never seen one with a circle around it. Why’d you do that?”
“Well, you know how it is,” the man replied. “When you’re in a strange place, sometimes you don’t want to use your real name.”

A couple are lying in bed one night when the woman turns to the man, smiles and says, “I’m going to make you the happiest man in the world.”
The man replies, “I’ll miss you.”

Why is Christmas like a day in the office?
You do all the work and the fat bloke in the suit gets all the credit.

Finally, after six girls, Luke’s wife had a boy. But he had only a head—nothing else. Luke didn’t care, though. He was just happy to have a boy.

On his kid’s 21st birthday, Luke took him to a bar. “A shot of your best Scotch,” he ordered.

The boy drank it, and—POOF—he grew a neck. Amazed, Luke then ordered another and—POP—a torso sprouted. “Keep ’em coming!” Luke shouted. Eventually, the boy had a whole body. Everyone cheered.

Tipsy, the boy stood on his new legs and stumbled to the left ... to the right ... out by the front door and into the path of a truck.

The bar fell silent.

“He should’ve stopped drinking,” the bartender said, “while he was a head.”

“I’m afraid that when you take these exam results home to your father his hair will go grey,” a teacher told one of her pupils.
“Wow, he’ll be so happy,” enthused the boy. “He’s completely bald.”

The waiter asks: “What would you like for dessert?”
“Nothing for me.”
“I’m full.”
“I couldn’t eat another thing.”

Hearing all that, the waiter looks surprised, points to the menu and says, “But it’s included with your meal.”
“Ice cream.”
“Nut tart.”
“Chocolate cake.”

Blinded by the Light

Q: How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.

Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes 12 steps.

A: One.
Q: How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

An IT nerd is crossing the road when he meets a frog who tells him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess, stay with you for a week and do anything you want.”
The IT nerd smiles and puts the frog in his pocket.
“Did you hear me?” says the frog. “I said I’ll do anything for a week.”
The nerd ignores it.
“Oy! What are you playing at?” it shouts. “A beautiful princess? For a week? That’s irresistible!”
“Look,” says the nerd. “I’m a computer expert. I haven’t got time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog—now that’s cool.”

How to Set Bullet-Proof New Year's Resolutions

Isn't it early to be thinking about New Year's resolutions? Yes, if your M.O. is to flake out like most people. But if you really want to bullet-proof your New Year's resolutions, begin today with my five-step process.

1. Take an inventory or your successes and setbacks in 2005

Don't squander the lessons of the past year. Ask yourself what worked and what didn't, and then ask yourself why. These lessons will help you avoid repeating past mistakes, and will reveal successful strategies that you can apply to your new goals.

2. Start with the big picture

Many times we set goals without any sense of context. Maybe you want to get in shape for the summer. Great. Why? How will getting in shape by summer serve you three years from now, ten years from now, twenty years from now? Try turning the paradigm on its head and start by asking yourself, "What do I want to accomplish in three years? In ten years? In twenty years?" Then, when you have a clear idea of what the big picture looks like, ask yourself, "What must I accomplish in the next year for me to achieve my longer-term goals?"

3. Clarify and commit

Get as specific as you can when you describe your goals and the results that you want. How will you measure your progress? Are there interim steps? What is the interim timetable? Are your goals achievable given your resources, or do you need additional information or partners? Why do you want to achieve these goals? What specific results are you looking for? Once you have clarified your goals, share them with at least one person you respect who holds you to a very high standard, and make a commitment to yourself and to them that you will follow through.

4. Plan to act, and plan to persist

Map out a detailed four-week plan. Describe specifically what you need to do each day. This plan will help get you through that tenuous first month. Promise yourself that you will persist until you achieve the results you want no matter what obstacles you encounter. Create contingency plans for obstacles that you can anticipate. And reconcile yourself to the idea that there will be obstacles you can't anticipate. For those inevitable unknown obstacles, cultivate a deep feeling of faith in your ability to bounce back and push forward. Look to the past for examples of how you persisted at times when it seemed impossible or hopeless.

5. Start immediately

Yes, right now. Get a jumpstart by taking action now so that you hit the ground running and start the new year with some momentum. January 1 is as arbitrary as any other date. Why delay when you can begin now?

Building Successful Relationships

Building Successful Relationships
There is really something to be said for building quality relationships in life. Whether it is a family relationship, a friendship, or a business relationship, they are all personal relationships that need to be developed and nurtured.

Building a quality relationship requires a mutual benefit. I believe that all relationships can be classified as joint ventures. If you understand the concept of a joint venture, then you really have the basic understanding of how relationships are developed. In any relationship, or joint venture, there must be a benefit to both parties involved and both parties must be able to identify a need for that benefit before a successful relationship can be developed.

If you are wondering why one of your relationships doesn't seem to be working, the first step it to identify what the benefits of the relationship are to you and the other party. If you cannot clearly identify the benefits, then the relationship may need to be changed. Think of a relationship as a series of transactions, you offer the other person something that they want and in turn you acquire something that you desire. For example; you offer your employer your expertise in a specific area and they offer you compensation in return. If you continue to provide the employer with what they desire and they continue to provide you with the compensation that you desire, you have a satisfactory business relationship.

Many relationships fail on the basis of a lack of effective communication. This often happens based on a series of assumptions that may result from complacency in nurturing the relationship. To continue with the previous example; assume at some point in time your employer is becoming dissatisfied with the work that you are producing and decides not to advance your pay, at the same time you find out that others with the same responsibilities are receiving more compensation than you. What do you think happens? More often than not, you become frustrated and turn in poorer work, the exact opposite of what you need to do to acquire more compensation and the employer becomes more and more dissatisfied and eventually you find yourself unemployed.

What could have been done? The most effective way to address this situation is through effective communication. The employer could have approached you and identified what they were seeking from you and why you did not receive additional compensation. At this point you may have been able to say "Well, I can do that, why didn't you just say so" and off we go with a successful relationship! The alternative would be for you to take the lead and approach your supervisor asking 'I noticed that I didn't get that pay raise, what can I do to make sure that I am successful?". More than likely you will be accommodated with an answer that will allow you to modify your relationship and make it more successful.

I have found that employers like to foster good employee relationships. Hiring and training new employees is very expensive and if they can nurture an existing relationship in order to get the result that is desired, they will often choose that route.

Sometimes change is inevitable, but take it upon yourself to ask questions and find out if you are fulfilling your end of the bargain. Take some time this year to address all of your relationships and make the appropriate changes to foster and nurture those relationships in the new year. Often one little conversation can make a world of difference in building successful relationships in our lives!

Are You a Victim of Your Own Christmas?

We�re coming down to the wire. How�s it feeling to you?

Why do I ask that? Well, whatever you�re celebrating, and whatever your religious orientation, Christmas is a celebration, a celebration that for many has a spiritual basis to it. That is, it�s supposed to be merry, at the least, and meaningful at the most. What�s it for you this year?

There may not be much you can do to put on the brakes now, but note how you�re feeling so you can see how it�s working for you. This has to be tested against the purpose of this celebration, which is personal to each of us, but surely it isn�t to be exhausted, stressed, hateful, resentful, materialistic, imprudent, overwhelmed, obligatory, or �just going through the motions.� If you�re feeling �the thrill is gone,� it�s time to get mindful. Don�t be the victim of your own holiday.

Remember, it�s all about choice. Intentionality is the EQ competency for the holidays. What do you intend? How do your intend to feel? What do you intend to accomplish?

If you feel like you want to stop the world and get off, take note. When Christmas is over, process.

Ask yourself:

1. What worked and what didn't? In other words, what make you feel good. Feeling good can be pleasure, joy, but also the feeling of a job well done.

2. What did I do out of obligation, or to keep up with the Joneses that needs to be let go next year?

3. Did I feel the way I wanted to? If not, what will I do differently next year?

4. Take each element and analyze it - - did you really enjoy it, or were you just going through the paces? Was it �because we�ve always done it this way�?

5. Is there some traditional that's outworn it's welcome? If so, eliminate it. Kiss it goodbye, remembering it fondly, but let it go.

6. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or uncle or aunt, there are children around. What kind of example are you setting? If you yell at your kid because you're stress out over Christmas, ho ho ho?

7. How materialistic were your gifts? How much did you bust your budget? Change this next year.

8. Did you spend time the way you wanted to? Did you spend time with the people you wanted to be with? Whether or not its family, you have a choice.

9. Did you actually have time to enjoy each thing � the smells, the touches, the sights, the sounds? Or were you like a hamster on his wheel?

10. What part of the negatives was due to your attitude rather than external events or circumstances? Controlling your mood and emotions with emotional intelligence can add tremendously to your life, not just at Christmas time.

The best gift in life is to be able to learn from your experiences and this is a great time to apply this. If you don�t like what�s going on, don�t be a victim of your own circumstances or attitude. Change one or both!

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